Day -5 , -4... and counting

Now begins the conditioning period leading up to Day 0, which is what they call Transplant Day.

Yesterday morning, we put N in the bathtub and shaved his head so that he wouldn't have to watch his hair fall out in the hospital. He stoically stared in the mirror as his dad took off the hair he guarded from us for several months. He has outright refused any sort of trim or cut since July knowing this day would come for him. I had no idea a son of mine could look so much like Bruce Lee... minus the swole physique of course. We tried to keep it as lighthearted as possible, but it was hard to ignore the tears welling up in his eyes as he watched it dwindle down to nothing but the scalp. He stayed strong, though, and kept the tears to himself. I think maybe he was trying to stay strong in front of his brothers, who he lovingly refers to as the VonBooger Twins.

It was a struggle getting him out of the house. He knew this stay would be the longest one yet, and so he got very creative yesterday. He pretended to still be asleep for as long as he could, and then he acted like he couldn't find his socks, then he resorted to hiding behind curtains. His hiding spot was given away when I heard him whispering to his brothers, "Get away from here! I'm trying to see if they will just leave without me!" And at one point, he outright acted like he lost his hearing.

With reluctance, lots of pleading and some tears, he got in the car and off he went. He has already received 2 days of the high blast chemo and no side effects yet aside from tiredness, which could quite honestly be simply attributed to the restlessness of not being in his own bed.

The first few days will be the easiest. Days -5, -4, and -3 will be the milder form of the high dose chemo. And then on day -2, he gets the big one that will bring on the heavy discomfort, before giving him a day of rest on day -1. For several days, we anticipate it being uneventful. Once we do the transplant on Tuesday, we are expecting the onset of side effects to begin as W's immune system starts to wake up in his body and overtake his depleted system.

As you can imagine, I'm pretty emotionally wiped out today. I am overwhelmed first and foremost by the number of you who have reached out to me over the past few days. With every message I read, my eyes welled up and my gratitude for every word was so deep that it made my chest ache. God just surrounded me with angels yesterday and it's hard to tell if my tears were that of appreciation, comfort or pain. I do want all of you to know, though, that we are ok. I of course have my infinite moments of human weakness, but God is in perfect control always, is the source of our supernatural strength as parents, and uses everything for His good without exception.






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