Clinic Tuesday Update and Etc.

Labor Day weekend is behind us, which means the school year and routines are well under way. I know it's cliche to say, but honestly, where DOES the time go? 😩

At Clinic this morning, we found that N's counts were a little too low. We couldn't get his next dosage of the weekly chemo because the doctor didn't want to tank him too low and risk it taking even longer for his counts to bounce back. Once I told the doctor that his brothers at home had gotten over stomach bugs recently, it confirmed for him even more that we should hold off on his next dosage. Another dosage would undoubtedly mean further weakening his immune system thus making him more susceptible to catching the bug that seems to be lurking in our house!

That's right, folks. W spent last Tuesday night puking his heart out, and then L spent Labor Day hugging the toilet. Which means I spent a lot of time with Clorox wipes at 4 am. You'd be amazed at how productive cleaning skills can get at 4 am when there's peace. You get into this zone and it's therapeutic and cathartic and I felt like I had accomplished so much by the time the kids woke up... and then they just destroyed all my cleaning in minutes as they ran through the house blasting each other with foam swords and slaying enemy forces on top of the couches (even when there's 1 down, there are still 2 left standing full of spirit and energy). I think that's what makes motherhood hard. Our accomplishments on a daily basis are not quantifiable. There's no measuring stick for what we get done in a day, because most of what we do just drones on in cycles. Cleaning, dishes, cooking, laundry, driving, repeat. If that's all motherhood encompassed, I probably couldn't find much joy in it at all. So at times I try to consciously refocus myself on the bigger, more important parts of the day when I feel myself getting strung out from the endless to-do lists. Gotta take a step back once in a while to see the forest rather than the trees, which is hard as a stay-at-home-mom when our schedule is packed with endless little trees, but I imagine it's hard for any of us to remember to do. In all the noise, it's easy to get lost and lose sight of the big picture, the importance of each day. So tonight, I'm going to sleep hard and wake up to new opportunities to embrace my little blessings, each of whom I deeply love for different reasons, and each of whom I find deeply annoying for different reasons. 😆

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